WAHOO, two weeks late but i got my period. Terrible cramps, terrible pms and major fatigue butt I GOT IT. I'm not pregnant YEEY. That little expierence scared the POOOP out of me, never am i gunna have unprotected sex again, infact im going to go on birthcontrol again asap and always use condoms (y) BE SAFE. So i have a bit on my mind lately, people tell me that me and Will seem like the couple who could be together forever and Will tells me how he loves me more then anything and that he doesnt want to have kids with anyone except me and wants to be with me pretty much forever. But what gets me is, is this really love? am i really in love? Does he really love me? He says that if he had any concept of it, its what he feels for me.. does our feelings grow even more then where we are at right now? I mean forever.. ya id love to spend forever with him but do i even really know him yet.. we have only been dating for almost 3 months. thats not long at all. He finally opened up to me lastnight he told me things that he doesnt like to tell people because he thinks they are downfalls when really its just part of what makes him who he is. What if someone better comes along, i dont like usuing those words but were so long, we have the whole world ahead of us with so many people out there left to meet. I mean i'd love to tell him that he means everything to me, but i dont know if he does because i dont even know if this is real. Maybe its just infatuation, i dontknow?
Lately ive been sad at night and have not been able to sleep well because i always wish i was with him. During the day im perfectly fine, i actually like going out and doing me, doing what i like to do and being with my friends but come 8 o clock all i want to do is lay down and cuddle with him but hes like 40 minutes away :(
I just wish i could drive but i have to wait a whole nother year before i can drive on my own, and have a car. I also just want to move out on my own aswell. I want to start my own life already and im only 15 years old. Its so frustrating. I dont even know why i feel this way. Lastly, its may, its almost been 2years since my dad first went to jail and this whole new rollercoaster started. I have an oral hearing in june which im so nervous for but it will benefit me in the end. Im also deciding that im going to do this thing, where i can eventually become a youth leader, i just go to this meetings called focus groups and talk about drugs and our opinions on it and how it has effected us in the past and the people around us, it gets me community hours aswell for school which is a benefit.
And on a brighter side of things, im passing 3 of my classes which suprises me because ive missed so much, but im going to go everyday this semester or whats left of it to try and get my marks up to 70's atleast.. :)
Ou and i found a new favourite song. If it means alot to you by a day to remember, Beautiful - Eminem, Despicable- Eminem, Not afraid - Eminem and We be steady mobbin- lil wayne :)
im looking forward to your response mrs. roth, you always help :) thank you