Tuesday, April 6, 2010

i got you slippen on my swagg juice

So easter weekend was pretty good i guess. Every night i spent at williams house. Thursday i spent the whole day biking (i want to do mountain bike street freestyle) then he picked me up around seven and we went to a girls house i never met before. Everyone was pretty drunk besides me and will and we played a game of crazy 8's after we went to another friends place for strawberry daquaris and sat around the fire, it was a going away party for this guy who was going to war. After we went back to williams and slept. The next day we lazed around in bed till the afternoon and he brought be out to show me this fort him and a bunch of guys he hangs out with are making and i got to help him a little bit. I mostly just watched and chatted with some of the boys, we stayed there pretty much the whole day then went back to his house. We rented a movie watched it then went to sleep. The next day he brought me home around 11 and i showered then spent the whole day biking with my friend sam. We also went for pizza aswell. It was super hot out that day then eventually got really cold and windy which caused a bunch of balls to fall off the roof at davenport and we kicked some balls around for a little bit then put them where the school could find them after. We went back to her house again and ate some pizza and waited for her boyfriend to come. She was going to go to her dads for dinner and Will was coming to pick me up again. This night was the most interesting for us. I finally got to meet my bestfriend chads new girlfriend, i thought i wasnt going to like her at first but it turns out her and i are so much alike and we got along great. We started out the night with some whiskey shots at jesses with a bunch of boys, we all sat around and listened to eachother free style rap, it was really funny. Then we found a party in london to go to. This sort of led to bad things. When we got there the party was great at first, we had some more shots danced it up and met alot of new people. There was this really drunk girl that we met that tried to kiss will, i didnt know at the time and i wasnt going to make a big deal out of it because Will pushed her away. By this time will was really intoxicated. He came downstairs at one point and him and i were talking, then this guy i just ment grabbed me by the hands and pulled me away from will. He didnt really like that very much so he went upstairs, later the same guy put his hands on chads girlfriend and called her a slut which really made alyssa upset and she freaked out. I was upset also because i couldent find Will, but then someone came up and told me that the kid in the grey shirt, my boyfriend got pissed and punched the persons gutter outside. I didnt know why at the time so i went looking for him. I found hu=im out by chads truck and i asked him what happenend. He told me that he just got really upset because these guys kept putting there hands on me and alyssa and i was letting them and it made him really angry and he didnt mean to punch the gutter he ment to punch the wall. This led to our first fight. Somehow he went as far as me bringing up the girl, and i told him if he had kissed the girl.. i didnt get to even finish my sentance when he was like " i didnt f*cking kiss the girl i pushed her away" and i tried to tell him that i wasnt saying he did i was saying if he was ever put in that situation and he kept yelling at me so i tried to walk away then he grabbed me and was like kristen im sorry, and i said he wasnt listening to me and everytime id try to talk hed cut me off. I eventually started crying and thats when chad and alyssa came out saying we had to leave because kids were pulling knifes on him and had already on will. I felt embaressed because i was crying and they noticed, alyssa (chads gf) held my hand in the car which made me feel better and eventually i crawled over to will and layed my head on his chest, his heart started to beat fast and he rested his hand on my head. At first the ride was quiet until chad got upset at will becuase will was over reacting and chad said that they werent touching us the way will was thinking and me and alyssa had to calm them both down. It was kind of crazy. When we got back to wills house we went in his room and had the most deep conversation ive ever had with him both of us ended up crying and he told me that if he had any concept of what love is, its what he feels for me, and he just wants to keep me around for a very long time. That he will be around for aslong as i want him to be. He also told me how i was in his future and i said well maybe and hes like. no your in my future and things just went so far that both of us ended up crying. Ill remember this talk for a long time i think it brought us closer and in the end everything. The next day the boys got together and we went to the skatepark. Us girlfriends hung out in the car while the guys skated till like 3. After we went to a friends house and sat around and talked. Well i barly talked at all i was so tired because me and will were up till like 4 am the night before and woke up at like 7. I was so dazed. Once we got back to wills house we were there just intime for easter dinner, we ate and then both of us fell asleep at 5. we slept the rest of the day all the way till the next morning. Then they brought me home early and will went to the fort to build it. Yesterday all i did was slouch around and eat chocolate. Watched teevee and went to bed. I think im going to be seeing Will tonight again maybe, with chad and alyssa. We might go to the movies, if i can get money from my mom. We havent been getting along again. No good. But i might be moving out in three months. Alyssas mom jsut broke up with her boyfriend so she wants to move back to her hometown which is 7 hours away. Alyssa doesnt want to leave the town she grew up in that has her job her friends her horse and her boyfriend. So her and chad might get an apartment together, chad is 20 btw, he has had his own job and he makes GOOOOOOD money, but he gets laid off every once in a while so hes going to get another job to. They asked if me and will wanted to move in aswell to make things easier. Im kinda cut in the middle with this because me and will havent been dating that long yet only about 2 months and i dont know how long were going to last and i dont want to move with him if things wont work out.. but then again i am a fighter and i see so much more in Will and it would be worth a try. I need to get a job and make some money, then i would probibly have to get a new job when we move. Which will be complicated but i figure, if i save up all my paychecks then ill have enough money to put in my share so i can have enough time to find a job. There should be more offers in london aswell, id also have to transfer schools aswell which is a little nerve wracking.. I have planned out alot of it aswell and its going to take so much responsibility from me. We all have been looking around and i found this apartment/ condo on huron street in london, its a 2 bedroom and the proce ranges between 699-714 per month but it includes water and heat, one free parking space, cable and internet access, we would still have to pay for usuage though and the tiles and what not are all redone and stuff theres also carpets aswell. I figured that approximetely each of us will be paying about 220.00 a month. With a job at student wage.. i could be making approx 35.60 a day hopefully x4 is around 142.40 a week not including tips and if i work weekends i could get more.. id hopefully be working all week though. Theres so much to consider and so much to plan out. Thankfully if i cant cover my part during the first little bit chad will have me covered !
im still so young to and i know so many people would tell me to stay home aslong as i can, but sometiems i hate being so dependant and i hate the fact that none of this is mine. its all my moms, everything.

i cant stand my mom anymore. now i want to move out i want to get out its like everything i fucking do is never good enough. she never listens to me ever and goes by what everyone else says and she always tells me how everyone elses opinion shouldent matter to me. she should stop being so hypocritical. GRR.

1 comment:

  1. WOW! That was a very long and involved entry, KB; it's great to have you writing so much about what is going on. You definitely have been through a roller coaster ride over the past little while with your relationship, and all of the social events that come with it.

    It sounds like the confusion at the party was worked out, and even though tempers flared and communication broke down for a while, you two sorted yourselves out. Fights/disagreements like that can make you feel closer to the person once it's all over and you're looking back on the situation.

    As you consider moving out, you really need to look at the reason WHY you want to move. If it's for more independence, you need to consider that living on your own (or with another couple and your boyfriend) will provide you with that, but also with A LOT more responsibility.

    Is there anyone else who still reads this? If you're up for it, write out a pros and cons list (yeah, yeah, I know. I'm being a total loser teacher here...) outlining all of the things that are good and bad about this situation. Make sure you include the effect it may or may not have on all of the relationships in question. (Your Mom, boyfriend etc.) And consider how well you know the people you're moving in with. Most people get divorced because they can't stand living with the other person - and they've usually known one another much longer before they actually move in!! lol People you know well will always seem more annoying, so take a little more time to get to know them before you start sharing rent with them. YOU are really mature and responsible, but other girls your age may not be. Whatever decision you make, be sure you think it through before you do it. Best of luck!